The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows
by Porcelain Prayer
Summary: AU. The war ties Hermione and Severus together during her 7th year. Severus makes a decision that changes everyone’s life forever.
1. Prologue

The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows 

By: Porcelain Prayer

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**Disclaimer:** This story is not making any money. Original characters belong to the wonderful J.K Rowling, I am merely borrowing them for a short amount of time. Also, the lyric's at the beginning of the chapters (and chapter titles) are not of my creation. They were just songs I listened to while I wrote the chapter.

**Rating:** This story is rated "R" for graphic violence and rape. Chapters will have a warning in beginning, for those sections that will have graphic scenes.

**Summary: AU. (Before the Halfblood Prince) **The war ties Hermione and Severus together during her 7th year. Severus makes a decision that changes everyone's life forever. I'm very bad at summaries, because I don't want to give too much away. Hope you get what I'm saying.

**Please: **Review. I would prefer no flames, but I can't stop them. If you don't like HG/SS, just don't read the story. If you see any mistakes I make, kindly ignore them, as I have no beta and I'm doing the best I can at this time.

YES IT'S TRUE. The Quiet Things is back…again…

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_Everything always happens for a reason_ ...

_I guess it was never meant to be_ . ...

_But it's just something we have no control over_ . ...

_and that's what destiny is_ ...

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"C'mon 'Mione, you can do it later."

" Yeah Hermione, just leave it for a few hours...take a break.."

" Shut up you two!"

" Fine, but your missing out Ms. I'm-going-crazy-from-studying. C'mon Hermione!" groaned Ron, sitting next to her and putting a hand around her thin waist ( she had lost a lot of weight from lack of eating ( who would waste time eating when it was an extra hour wasted of their nose in a book?) and there was a sort of waif look taking over her body) " It's nearly Christmas! We're all taking a break. It'll be easier when you come back! And you won't hear us complain for 2 whole hourssss..." He placed his hands on her shoulders and gave her a messy massage.

Hermione looked up from _The Advanced Book of Spells, Grade 7 ( A Preparation for N.E.W.T.S) _and rubbed her eyes. She was tired and hadn't put her book down for the past 3 hours. She could do with a break...

" Fine," She said, giving in. Maybe they were right. Maybe when she came back she'd be able to concentrate a bit more.

Ron gave a big "Whoop!" and Harry smiled and grabbed her cloak from the back of her chair.

" How about a trip into Hogesmede? We haven't been there in a week.." said Ron looking out the window. It was pitch black, but that hadn't stopped them this past month. And Ron needed an excuse to buy Hermione a very late birthday present ( what are you talking about? Of course he didn't forget!) and her and Harry's Christmas presents as well.

" It's nearly 8," said Hermione. He voice sounded weak and very tired; like someone who hadn't slept in days. "Everything's bound to be closed."

Harry frowned. They all needed time away from the castle walls. Away from the books and distractions...

" Hagrid's?" he suggested. Ron looked at Hermione. Hagrid didn't exactly "approve" of their relationship.

" Er.." said Ron, clearly thinking. " Why don't you go and Hermione and I will take a walk along the Forbidden Forest?"

At this point Hermione looked at him.

" I didn't stop studying so I could freeze," she said and reached for her book.

" _Accio!_"

Hermione looked up, annoyed, at Harry; but saw to her amazement that he didn't hold her book. It was Ron. She gave him a " Mrs. Weasley" look, before trying to snatch her book back. He held it high out of her reach.

" No way! It took us an hour to get this out of your hands! We're going somewhere!" He looked at Harry, almost begging him to think of something.

" Ron..." said Harry slowly. " Didn't you say you found an empty chamber near the western dungeons...?"

" Yeah," said Ron, putting down the book, but giving a side-ways look at Hermione to make sure she hadn't realized this. She was looking at Harry puzzled. If Harry knew about the empty chamber than surely...?

" Why don't you and Hermione hang there while I go visit Hagrid?"

Ron seemed to pick up the looks going around the room. Hermione turned to him, the pink rising in her cheeks.

"... Ronald Weasley..."

Ron looked truly horrified.

" Holy hell..." said Ron getting up slowly. He glanced at Harry who laughed and said jokingly, "RUN MAN-RUN!"

Ron bolted to the corridor just as Hermione- tiredness failing her- pushed back her chair and made at Ron's chair.

Harry laughed as he watched the portrait shut behind them. Hermione didn't really expect Ron to keep their relationship activities secret- did he? Harry had learned about their "first" everything a long, long time ago. They were boys after all.

Laughing, he reached into his bag, grabbing his map and cloak, and made to Hagrid's hut.


	2. Step by step

**Disclaimer:** Nothing is mine!

**A/N**: A few of you lovelies had questions….

To start, the story was not taken down by me (insert angry rage here, here and here.) I started my story with just a chapter filled with all disclaimers, explanations, etc. But the site took that off. Then I didn't have enough disclaimers in all the chapters so the site removed the whole story. But I cleaned up now, and it's up for good (I hope!)

Um, next question I believe was how long it's going to take me to get it back up. The story is not yet complete, so 'm not completely positive. I have an idea in the works though. Between work and the boyfriend, I don't have a lot of time to write until fall comes around where I'm 100 free. So I might up-date once every three days or if I get 10 plus reviews for a chapter, I might up-date the day after. Once the fall comes it might be quicker, but until then…

Thank you for the reviews! They mean SO MUCH to me. If it's not too much to ask, check out my story called "While the Sun Rises" and let me know what you think of that.

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_Buried deep as you can dig inside yourself_

_And covered with a perfect shell_

_Such a charming, beautiful exterior_

_Laced with brilliant smiles and shining eyes_

_Perfect posture, but you're barely scraping by_

_But you're barely scraping by_

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Severus Snape was recovering from a very nasty migraine when he heard a familiar female voice ringing down the outside corridor, half laughing, half screaming. He couldn't quiet make out what they were saying, nor who it was. As the voice grew louder, he stood up, expecting whoever it was to come barging through his classroom. But within a few moments, the voice quickly faded and silence came over the classroom once more.

He sat down; intending to grade the remaining Ravenclaw papers, but the sudden sound of a door being slammed shut caught his attention. Extremely annoyed, he got up and crossed the room.

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" Oh, Come on Hermione! You couldn't expect me not to tell Harry! He's my best friend!" said Ron exasperatedly. " And he didn't mind... he didn't even really care..."

" I don't care that he's your best friend! He's mine as well incase you forgot! But you don't see me running up to him and telling him everything that happens behind closed doors-"

"Speaking of which..." said Ron eyeing the door with a grin.

Hermione ignored him.

"Well, there's a simple enough solution for this," said Hermione, turning for the door. " We just won't have sex anymore."

"What?" yelped Ron, jumping in front of her. " Hermione that's not fair!" He gave her a puppy dog face and she laughed.

" See? This is what I mean. Sometimes I feel as if all you care about is getting your share of the deal." She looked down at her feet, knowing she had to ask him sooner or later anyway. She took a deep breath. " Do you...erm... even really care about me Ron?"

Ron gave her a look of fury.

" So you think I'm just some sexed crazed womanizer? That I don't give a damn about anyone but myself?" He was starting to get angry.

" Oh please Ron, you saying you're not enjoying our - our t_ime together i_s like saying I want to fail my N.E.W.T.S with open arms!"

" Who said I wasn't enjoying our time together?" said Ron, clearly pissed. " I don't care what we're d_oing _Hermione, I just care about being w_ith _you. I swear, for being top student and head girl, you lack common sense!"

Hermione's shoulders, which were tensed with anger and fury, dropped suddenly. What Ron had said truly moved her. She looked him straight in the eyes and he smiled but looked away rather quickly. She held her stare and when he stole a second glance, he realized she was smiling.

" Come here you." he said and pulled her into a hug. She was shaking slightly, as if crying. He kissed the top of her head and held her for a long time.

After a few minutes he pulled her away, holding her shoulders.

" What's this?" he asked, laughing, and wiped away a few stray tears that were running down her face. She giggled.

" Being silly..."

" Speaking of which..." said Ron laughing. " I might not be top student, but I'm smart enough to know you weren't being serious about not sleeping with me."

Hermione inhaled quiet a lot of air and she laughed, clearly shocked. Ron smiled as he held her hand and made to the other side of the corridor. She hit him playfully on the shoulder, but let him lead her to a green and silver couch, several feet away.

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The amount of anger inside Severus rose as he roamed through the dungeons' corridors, looking for the person who was making such a racket. He wondered for a moment if she was ok, but did he not hear the voice coursed with laughter? He shook his head; if someone was in danger, he'd have heard the words clear and much, much louder. No.. this was probably young Mr. Malfoy and Miss. Parkinson. They were always teasing each other in annoying ways.

He turned around reaching the last door of the hallway, when he caught a flash of someone heading toward his room. Someone with bright blonde hair-

The person seemed to notice his sudden movement too. Within seconds, the figure of Draco back stepped and looked to Snape.

" Professor- I've been looking for you sir.." He walked down the corridor, confusion taking over, at the look his favorite Professor, and family friend, was giving him.

" Mr. Malfoy, I trust you and Miss. Parkinson know not to make such a racket during these hours?" he rubbed his forehead, head pounding.

"Miss. Parkinson?" ask Malfoy looking at him coldly. " I haven't been with her all day sir."

Snape looked up.

" But the voice.." he whispered -unknowingly- aloud.

"Sir?"

Snape shook himself. It had to of been the headache.

" What was it you needed Mr. Malfoy?"

" Professor Sprout has given me detention," said Malfoy slowly, for he thought he had heard a sudden soft scream from the door behind him. After a moment of silence, he continued, " For the whole week."

" The whole week?" asked Snape, his temper clearly pushing him over the edge. " You do realize, Mr. Malfoy, that we have a up-coming playoff game determining whether or not we play the finals against Gryffindor?"

" Yes sir, that's why I came to see you. I was wondering if could- er- have a word with her..." he looked at the floor before returning his gaze. " Father's already in a rage..."

Snape lost his concentration with Mr. Malfoy. He could s_wear h_e had just heard a soft scream from the door behind Mr. Malfoy.

"Yes," said Snape, in the middle of Draco's explanation ("...been worried about Potter's mudblood pal..") " I shall see Professor Sprout tomorrow morning."

" Thank you sir," said Malfoy, turning to leave. " Are you alright Professor?" he asked before he started walking.

" Fine...fine..." Snape said moving toward the door Mr. Malfoy had just unblocked. Draco shrugged and left his sight a moment later.

For the second time that night, Severus put his ear to the door and listened with all his might. He thought he could hear someone moving on the other side. And then, quiet clearly and suddenly, a female voice said " No...!" and then screamed some more. Severus, wand raised high, nearly blasted the door off it's hinges as he entered a scene he'd rather not have walked in on.


	3. Heart to heart

A/N: Nothing is mine!

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_So much more than he could ever give._

_A life free of lies and a meaningful relationship._

_He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides._

_He waits for it to end_

_and for the aching in his guts to subside._

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" Ron! Ron stop!" Hermione laughed as Ron, pretending to be some wild animal, tackled her onto the couch and started to bury his head into her chest. Hermione let out a very high scream, followed by very high laughs.

Ron's head was halfway through the V-neck of her vest, when the door burst open; almost coming clean off it's hinges.

Severus Snape stood silhouetted in the pathway of the door, wand raised, clearly shocked at the scene that laid in front of him.

There was a moment of utter silence- Ron still lying stupidity on top of Hermione. She wished he would at least move his head away from her almost exposed self. Ron opened his mouth- ready to explain, when Snape came striding toward him, rather quickly, and grabbed him by the neck of his robes.

"Professor! I- I can explain-" he stuttered, watching Snape's hand tighten his wand.

" WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING?" Snape bellowed, causing Hermione to shudder with fright. " GET OFF OF HER!"

He pushed him to the floor and Hermione suddenly gasped, finally realizing what it must have looked like to Snape when he entered: the screams, the position they were in... he must have thought it was rape.

" Let-go-of-me!" Ron choked, trying to free himself from Snape's clutches. "_you've got the wrong idea! - tell him Hermione!"_

But Snape didn't seem to be listening and Hermione was cowering in fright at the look Snape was giving him.

" _-Hermione!_"

"Professor! Sir! Let me explain!" Hermione suddenly yelled, getting off of the couch.

"_Stay quiet Miss. Granger!_" Snape hissed, tightening the hand around Ron's throat; his face was turning brick red.

"Sir please!" Hermione pleaded, grabbing his wand arm. " We were just messing around.. it got out of hand.. please Professor! I swear on it!"

There was another moment of silence- save Ron's grunts.

"Is this true boy?" asked Severus, eyes piercing into Ron's.

Ron- not being able to grab enough air to say 'yes' merely nodded. Snape released his neck, and Ron dropped a few inches. He drew a long breath of air, face starting return to its original color.

"50 points from Gryffindor," said Snape calmly, as though none of this had happened. Ron let out a sound of a dog that's tail had been stepped on and glared at Snape, who smiled.

"50 point _each_. Return to your _separate_ dormitories at once. I will be contacting Professor McGonagall as soon as possible." He looked at Hermione, who blushed and hurriedly tried to fasten her robes. However, there was a button missing. Trust Ron to screw everything up.

Hermione's face turned an un-forgettable red, and she made for the door. But before she even reached the handle, Snape called her back. Ron didn't bother waiting. he bolted toward the door, his big floppy feet echoing as they hit the stone beneath him.

Hermione took a deep breath and turned around. She didn't approach him, deciding distance was a good factor now.

" Miss. Granger" Snape said, still calmly, taking a few steps toward her. He didn't seem to notice that she was trying to keep 'herself' out of his view. " I hope you realize that your actions tonight will be the very ones that took away your position as Head Girl-"

"What! But Professor-"

"Don't interrupt me Granger! Like I said, I hope you realize what you've done. I expected better from a student with your IQ, teenage cravings or not. Tonight you showed a complete act of being irresponsible and unintelligent. Something I wouldn't have expected from you, of all people. Which, Miss. Granger, is saying something."

Two fat tears rolled out of Hermiones' eyes, and hit the stone floor. More followed with every word she spoke.

"Professor- please.. please don't tell Professor McGonagall.. I s-swear it was n-not what it looked like at a-all... we w-weren't going to have s-... to go any further... I w-would n-never do anything to l-loose my position-" and the rest was a tangle of words as she sobbed uncontrollably.

Seconds later, she covered her face in her hands and bolted from the dungeon; crying harder than she ever had before.

Severus watched her with wide eyes and she ran from the room. He sighed, and stood for a moment. Trust him to make a teenage dramatic scene! He took in what just happened and swore. Then, very slowly, followed after her.


	4. Demonology And Heartache

A/N: Own nothing, and it sucks!

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_...I know what it's like when memories make you wince_

_...And love letters read like obituaries_

_...And photo albums are the books of the dead_

_...I need no reminders, no more reminders_

_...I'll forget the past and lay it to rest_

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Snape looked to his left and right once he reached the end of the hallway, but had no idea which way she had turned.

'_Women,' _he thought bitterly. They sure knew their stuff... especially when it comes to making you feel guilty..

Severus wondered whether he ought to try and find her. But the idea of him going to comfort a student- a Gryffindor nonetheless, was unheard of. At least for him.

Cursing, he made his way to the Headmaster's office.

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" The thing is, I don't know what to do about it Albus," Snape said, bringing a hand to his still aching forehead. "The girl can't- and shouldn't- be allowed to meddle with the Weasley boy without punishment. What was I to tell her? That she could carry on while I simply look away? You know as well I as do that detentions and docking points means nothing to them."

Dumbledore took his fingers off his chin, where he had them a moment before, deep in thought. He didn't answer immediately, buying time glancing out his window. Snape pressed on.

" Surely..._surely..._you're not going to let her proceed with the Headship? After her outrageous actions?"

Dumbledore looked away from the window, and gave Snape a look of sympathy.

" It means the world to her," he said softly. Snape made to interrupt, but Albus held up his hand lightly. " Miss. Granger is in a state of shock Severus. Madame Pomfrey contacted me moments before yourself. It seems Miss. Granger has broken the school record time run from the dungeons to her ward." his beard twitched, as if he was about to smile.

" Albus, she -"

" -has made a mistake," said Dumbledore calmly. He again looked out the window. " We all make mistakes Severus."

There was a pregnant pause. He turned and looked at Snape over his glasses.

" We all deserve second chances."

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Closing the door to the ward of the hospital wing quietly, Hermione dried her eyes on her sleeve. Madame Pomfrey had given her a Calming Draught, and although she had no more tears running down her red face, and breathing wasn't such a hard task anymore, her insides were tearing her apart.

' _Maybe I should go to the library and just study for a half hour before it closes,' _Hermione thought. It was what she was planning to do anyway. She certainly didn't want to go and see Ron. Infact, she didn't really want to see anyone.

As she turned the corner she walked straight into something **hard** and fell backwards. At first she thought it was the wall, but she saw a pair of black shoes in front of her, leading up to black robes. She didn't need to guess who it was that was wearing black so close to the holidays.

" Sorry Professor," she said and made to get up. But Snape bent down and crouched in front of her. Shocked, she remained sitting on the dirty floor.

"Sir?" she asked. He was looking at her strangely, with a far way look in his eyes. As if he seemed stunned to find her roaming the halls.

"I thought," he said quietly. " that the Head Girl is suppose to be watching her common room?"

" B-but-"

"I've changed my mind Miss. Granger," he said quickly, as if spitting poison from his mouth. "But if you make one more mistake, however, I will take great pleasure in melting the badge in front of you." he stood up to his full height. Hermione felt rather foolish still lying on the floor.

She made to get up, and surprisingly, Snapes hand had shot out to help her. She looked in his eyes and he said impatiently "Take a walk with me." It wasn't so much a request as an order.

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"C'mon Ron, it couldnt've been that bad," said Harry shaking off his cloak as he approached "his" chair by the fire.

" Harry- you should have seen the look in his eyes-"

" Which one? The _I'm-going-to-kill-you _look, the _test-me _look, or the famous _How-can-I-expel-you-today? _look?"

" The _I'm-going-to-take-away-your-prefect-and-Head-girl-badges_ look."

" He didn't..."

" No- but he bloody well should have, and could have, he was in such a fit of rage- the bastard choked me! And Hermione still hasn't come back yet."

Harry suddenly looked up from the flames of the fire at Ron.

" She hasn't?"

" No- but she'll be alright." Though the look on his face told Harry he was thinking something completely different.

" What- you didn't say with her?" he asked in a would-be-calm voice, but he sounded pretty apprehensive.

" Look- Snape said he just wanted a word.. I didn't want to be there when the git made her crack and tell about the two of us."

Harry looked back into the fire.

" Anyway, how was Hagrid's?"

" He wasn't there. Probably with Grawp or something. I didn't fancy waiting about forever."

They sat for a few minutes in silence before Dean came up to them asking if they want to play a game of wizard chess.

" Sure," Harry said, but Ron shook his head. He knew better than anyone else not to play chess when your mind was off in thought...and _boy _was his mind off in thought. _Where was she?_

Ron stared into the fire until it died down and became low-lit embers. Harry approached him, yawning, around midnight and asked if he was coming along. Again, Ron shook his head.

" I'm going to wait for her to come back."

" Alright," said Harry laughing, " but you know she's not gonna want to talk about it. She'll probably come in, tired and PMSing, and tell you 'we'll talk about it tomorrow'."

Ron sighed and looked at his feet. " I guess you're right. I'll be up in a minute."

Harry left and Ron, once again, turned his attention to the weak coals still burning in the fire. He had no intention of going upstairs to bed.

Shivering, he walked over to the largest couch, and pulled the Gryffindor banner ( which was resting on its back) around himself as he laid down. He'd wait here all night if he had to.

For a few minutes he stared out the closet window as it began to snow. The soft flurries worked there magic, and calmed the uneasy knot in his stomach. Within moments, he fell into a uncomfortable sleep, scarcely wondering why he was even sleeping on the couch in the first place.


	5. Light With A Sharpened Edge

A/N: Own nothing! Sorry that its been awhile since the last up-date, I had to send it to a friend and have her submit it for me. And thank you all for the reviews! They make my day :-)

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_Emptiness is loneliness, and loneliness is cleanliness._

_And cleanliness is Godliness, and God is empty just like me._

_Intoxicated with the madness, I'm in love with my sadness._

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Hermione took her Professors hand slowly, and he pulled her up, releasing her so quickly once she was on her feet, that she almost fell back down. He let out a very small sneer and Hermione felt pink creeping up her cheeks. He started walking a second later and she quickly followed him so he wouldn't yell at her for staying behind.

It was a moment before either one of them said anything. Then, just as quickly as he started walking, he stopped. Hermione stopped herself just in time from walking straight into him. He turned around sharply as if going to say something, but dismissed it. She looked at him, as if saying "Go on" but he just stood there, silent.

She cleared her throat, causing him to make eye contact. She felt very uncomfortable, standing in the middle of the corridor in silence, having a stare down with her Professor.

Finally, he spoke.

"Miss. Granger, I assume you would like to know why I changed my mind about informing your head of house about tonight's' events."

She slowly nodded.

He began walking, very slowly, saying in step to join him at his side. She carefully put herself a foot away from her Professor's arm.

" You are not ignorant Miss. Granger," he said quiet suddenly. She managed a small smile from the praise of a man who she thought hated her. He turned his head looking at her. "But that is not always a good thing." Her smile faded a bit, but he pressed on, " Some would say you know too much for your age. That it's unhealthy. Dangerous."

Hermione kept quiet. She didn't understand what he was getting at. What did this have _anything_ to do with her and Ron?

They walked an entire hallway in silence, before he spoke again, while approaching the dungeon steps.

" You were aware of the Orders actions this summer?" he asked slowly, as if making sure he wasn't saying too much.

She nodded, but he didn't continue.

She pressed on, hating his patience. " I didn't tell Harry or Ron. I wasn't sure. I didn't want them to worry." She looked at him. " Er- Sir? What does this have anything to do with me or Ron and taking away my badge?" She really just wanted to find out why all of a sudden he had a conscience and then get to bed.

They arrived in front of his classroom door, and he opened it for her. She entered quickly and heard him closing the door behind himself. He made to his office doors, and she wasn't whether or not she should follow him.

" Go in and sit," he said eyeing her. " Don't touch anything. I'll be back in a moment."

She did, and he left the door open as he left her.

She had visited this room once before, but it had changed very much since then. It was back in her second year, she remembered fondly, when she came here to steal ingredients for the Polyjuice Potion. The cupboard, however, was nowhere in sight.

_Perhaps he moved it, _she thought suddenly_, So whoever went in it last time wouldn't come back..._

She continued taking in the room, but didn't dare touch anything, except with her eyes. Though she had to stop herself from going at his grade book, which lay only inches away from her hand.

Minutes went by, and still he hadn't returned. _I could have already done it by now, _she thought bitterly, _He wouldn't even have known! _She glanced at the open door and heard no signs of movement from the other side. _A quick peek couldn't hurt..._

Her hand had almost touched the black notebook when she heard an angry cough behind her. Cursing to herself, she withdrew her hand and turned around.

Snape was entering the room with raised eyes and what she realized immediately as a Pensieve. For one wild moment, she thought he was going to force her to empty what she remembered 5 months ago. Then her mind shot to what Harry had told her last year and she thought about Occlumency.

" Professor, I-"

" No need to explain Miss. Granger. Though you could have just asked me," she gave him a blank look, wondering what he meant. "Your average in my class is an E."

"Oh," Hermione said shocked. " Professor, what I was going to ask you, was why I have to take Occlumency?"

Snape gave her a hard stare and then he said asked, "Occlumency?"

" The magical defense of the mind-"

" I know what it is Miss Granger," Snape spat, looking suddenly angry. Hermione had the strange feeling that he didn't like to be treated unintelligently. " But that is not why I have brought you here. Your realization and memories over the summer about the Dark Lords plans to destroy the Weasley's are to be taken from you."

A strange feeling arose inside of Hermione. Her heart seemed to be beating faster than allowed. Were the Weasley's really in danger?

She began to shake violently and Severus spoke before she could.

"It is not that bad Miss Granger. I happen to be a very good memory modifier. Only what you have remembered will be forgotten. And, of course, you will remember me taking something away from you, but you won't remember what. Also- you must-... Miss Granger, are you listening to me?"

Hermione was looking around the room, wondering if she could run out it without Snape catching up to her. She had to tell Ron- he _had_ _a right_ to know-

But what she was thinking to do and what she did next were completely different. Instead of making a dramatic scene full of him chasing her around the castle, she looked at Snape and said with difficulty, " I-see-Professor-Dumbledore-first-"

"Miss. Granger, control yourself. This was the Headmasters decision. He thinks it's best if you don't remember thinking what you did. Now... _Miss. granger listen to me ..._you'll remember the Order talking, but you won't remember the situation. And you will remember worrying about Mr. Weasley and his family, but not what about harm would come to them. You will remember me performing the procedure of taking the memory, but won't remember which one I took. It's just like forgetting-"

" _THEN JUST LET ME F-FORGET IT!_" she burst out crying. "I DONT W-WANT _YOU_ TAKING AWAY MY M-MEMORIES! THEY'RE MINE! I JUST W-WANT T-TO S-SEE PROFESSOR DUMBLEDORE!"

" Miss. Granger control yourself at once! Professor Dumbledore is not here. He left an hour ago to visit headquarters. He left me instructions to take away your knowledge of the summer's events. _Calm yourself girl! _Dumbledore knows what he's doing! What you thought was dangerous! It could very well ruin everything."

" W-why ... where did this all come from?" she asked, bringing her face up from her hands, where she had them buried. " You- you were suppose t-to tell me why you were sparing me m-my Head badge..."

"Professor Dumbledore thought that giving up your memory was enough to be getting on with," Snape said, handing her a tissue from his desk. " Now.. it's best if we get this over quickly..yes.. well, first- anything you would prefer me not to witness while entering your memories, you'll have to extract from your mind and put into the Pensieve. Just think about the memory very clearly. Bring your wand up to your hea- that's good Miss. Granger, just like that," he said watching her as she followed his instructions. " Now, just drop it into the Pensieve. And," he added as an after thought, "Don't think about adding any summer ones to it. I will know."

When she had finished, he took his own wand and swirled it into the contents. Frowning he stopped, and looked up at her.

"Are you ready?"

" Y-yes..." she said, heart beating faster than it ever had. It wasn't fair.. _it REALLY wasn't_...

Two fat tears rolled down her cheeks as she watched Snape approach her with his wand raised.

"Stand up," he said locking eyes, " And stop crying. _Try _to empty yourself of all this unnecessary emotion..."

" I- I can't d-do this," she said, starting to cry even more. " Not- k-knowingly. Can't you just do it while I sl-sleep? And then you c-can take away what I'm thinking right now too I s-suppose.."

Snape thought for a second, smirking. Hermione was still shaking, but stopped and sighed as he slowly began nodding.

" ... Yes.. that is a rather good idea... However, I'm afraid you will have to sleep here. Gryffindor tower doesn't allow males in their dormitories..."

" It doesn't matter," said Hermione, starting to shake from the coldness of the air now. " I just don't know if I'm going to be able to sleep knowing that it's coming..."

" Then I shall give you a Sleeping Draught. I'm not going to wait any longer than I need too," he said bitterly. And with that, he waved his wand a conjured a twin sized bed with green and silver sheets in the back of the classroom.

Hermione tried to say thank you, but her throat was so tired, she couldn't make out any other words. She walked over to the Slytherin bed and noticed Snape wasn't following her.

"I'm going to the hospital wing to see if Madame Pomfrey can lend me a bottle. Now, I'm locking the door. If you're not here when I get back you can forget the sleeping deal and I'll do it as soon as I find you." He looked at her and she nodded. " Good. Try to fall asleep on your own. I'll be back."

Again, she nodded and she sat down on the bed, kicking off her shoes. He strode from his office to the classroom door and she heard him locking it a moment later. She sighed, knowing fate was on its way. He hardly dared herself to leave behind a clue. Dumbledore thought it was best, and she trusted Dumbledore with her life. She just hoped to death that he knew what he was doing.

And then her mind shot to Snape, wondering how badly he was going to mess with her mind. He certainly did seem out of character the last hour and a half. And she wondered vaguely, as she laid down, if her mind was ready for what laid ahead.

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**Explanation:** over the summer, Hermione hears the OoTP discussing Voldemorts plans to destroy the Weasley's. Hermione stayed quiet about it, unsure of what was happening, and to not to cause alarm and panic with Ron. You will see flashbacks of this in the next chapter.. Anyway… the Order realized what Granger had, and Dumbledore requested that Snape eliminate Hermione's memories ,so nothing goes wrong in future chapters. Sorry if this wasn't clear.

Again, I own nothing at ALL.


	6. Sandpaper and Silk

A/N: Not mine, and yes, it sucks! I know a few of me want to post faster… but my server is down! I have to send the chapters to my friend to post for me (Hello all, I'm Ann!) so until it's fixed, the up-dates will most likely be spaced a bit. But I'm trying my hardest to stick to the three days or less….

Also, I heard your not allowed to have lyrics anymore? If that's the case, I might have to edit my story (sighs) I guess this place doesn't like me very much….

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_Each sour word,_

_sounds so absurd-_

_but lingers in the air._

_while happiness-_

_-in an ashen dress-_

_fades into the years._

_each lonely hour_

_my heart has slept,_

_has drifted back to me._

_a splintered dream,_

_of awful things,_

_that now have come to be._

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Hermione found it rather hard to fall asleep on a bed set in the middle of Snapes classroom. She lay there for several minutes before she got up and started pacing. She knew deep down she needed to remember...

(Flashback 1)

_It had been a late, sticky summers' night. Hermione, as usual, couldn't sleep- full of her worries for The Order and Harry. The Dark Side was steadily growing larger and larger by the day. Fudge had resigned, and the bloke who replaced him barely knew what he was doing either. _

_She didn't bother waking Ginny, who was sleeping peacefully on the other side of their room. She was well aware of Hermione's fears that they'd be discovered, for each night they shared their fresh worries and wonders of what could and possibly would happen. _

_Instead, she removed the thin sheets of her bed and began to pace the room. She had already read her course books 2ce and saw no reason to use them as a distraction. She was well past bottling her emotions inside of herself._

_The time passed slowly. 1:01 AM, 1:02.. Hermione doubted her legs would be able to pace for much longer. Though her mind was wide-awake, her body was hopelessly tired. Still after 2 summers of cleaning, headquarters needed to be cleaned constantly._

_She was just contemplating going back to bed when footsteps- which seemed to come _right_ outside her door- stopped her dead in her tracks. _

" _Molly dear, please don't be afraid...Dumbledore just wants us to stay here a bit longer... we're safe as long as he's our secret keeper.."_

"_Arthur- everyone thought that Harry's family were safe as well, and look what happened to them.." it was Mrs. Weasley, and she seemed to be crying in the lowest voice possible. _

_They stopped walking. Hermione tried moving closer to the door, but her legs felt like they were stuck in cement. Rooted to the spot, she stood and listened in horror._

" _Molly dear, if you don't trust that Snape is telling the truth, at least see sense and believe Dumbledore. The Order is safer now than it was 17 years ago. And Pettigrew isn't our secret Keeper.. we have _Dumbledore. _There is nothing for us to be afraid of.."_

_His voice trailed off, and Hermione had a strange feeling Mr. Weasley didn't believe the words coming from his own mouth. _

_The floorboards outside her room creaked, and for a moment Hermione thought that they had continued walking. However, someone seemed to be talking in a muffled voice- as if speaking from the embrace of another person._

" _Shh, Shh... Molly, everything is going to be OK. Ron and Ginny will be safe at Hogwarts not knowing... and Bill and Percy can take care of themselves.. Charlie is on his way to Headquarters, and the twins are arriving tomorrow morning... I won't let anything happen to our children.."_

_There were more sobs and then they definitely walked off, floorboards creaking and a door being shut a few moments later._

Hermione shuttered. She remembered the night as if it were only the night before. And then there was the day before the start of term.. the only year out of her 7, where the Weasley's failed to bring them to the train station.

_( Flashback 2)_

" _No, Ron, afraid we can't see you off this year," Mr. Weasley lifted a hand onto his son's shoulder, who was now taller than him. " We have important matters that must be taken care of immediately. As I was saying...hurry along...the Ministry will be here any moment to collect you..."_

_Ron had stalked off, going to the kitchen to retrieve his trunk. Mrs. Weasley and Ron emerged a moment later, Molly crying softly into a handkerchief._

" _Oh Mum," said Ginny trying to smile but looking sadly at her mother as she embraced her , " you'd think we were leaving you forever.."_

" _Please, _please, _behave yourself. And you too Ron, Harry- Hermione-" she hugged them all in turn and Hermione looked close to tears as Mrs. Weasley hugged her the longest. " Take care of him, will you?" she whispered, unfortunately loud enough for the rest to hear. Ron's ears turned red._

"_Of course," said Hermione, trying to smile as she let go and went to gather her trunk. _

The memories made Hermione wince. The clues had all been there, and she had so many times to tell Ron the fate that was waiting for the Weasley's the moment they let their guard down.

She looked around the room desperately, trying to think of a way out of this mess. She knew she had to go through with everything, but she had to leave herself something...a clue...

And then it hit her, it was _so, so simple_.. but would it work?

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Snape entered the room, carefully carrying a goblet filled with thick purple liquid. His nose was wrinkled, as if it smelled horrible. A moment later and Hermione smelt that it was.

"Lay down, but keep your neck up. I don't need you drowning yourself," he instructed, handing her the goblet. She pinched her nose, not wanting to smell the awful potion. It reminded her of burning rubber.

"Whenever your ready. You'll awake when I'm finished." He stared at her, indicating to start drinking.

'_Cheers,' _she thought bitterly to herself as she downed the potion. It tasted like paper, and she immediately felt drowsy. Snape reached out a hand and pushed her back against the pillow, watching her closely. Another minute and her eyelids fluttered shut, hand clutched around the empty goblet.

Snape took the empty cup from her hand and placed it upon his desk, when something caught his eye. Dancing silver light from the door of his office...

Severus looked to the bed where Hermione was sleeping soundlessly. He watched her chest as it fell up and down in rhythm. It couldn't hurt to know things that already happened...

Snape slowly walked over to his office, feeling somewhat guilty at what he was about to do .. but his curiosity was mounting all the same .. what would the know-it-all Granger not want him to see?

He reached his desk, fingering the black stone gently with his forefinger. It was extremely cold. He shivered, and very carefully, pulled out his wand and swirled the contents about.

He was looking into the Gryffindors boys' dormitories. Harry and Ron were sitting on their beds, talking about-

" -that slimy git," snarled Ron's voice, barely in a whisper, though it looked as if he were shouting. " two rolls of parchment! At this rate we wont have any time for Quidditch practice! What's wrong with Snape anyway?"

Severus couldn't hear Harry's response, and - forgetting to science of the pensieve- pressed his ear to the silver substance.

He lurched downward, in great surprise, and fell softly onto a third bed, just as Hermione arrived with Crookshanks in her arms. His heart pounded uncomfortably against his ribcage, forgetting that they couldn't see him for a brief moment.

" What are you two moaning about now?" she asked smiling, bending down and kissing Ron on the cheek. They all looked slightly younger.

"Hey M'ione, where's my kiss?" asked Harry laughing. Hermione scolded him and Ron chuckled.

" Ha, me and Harry-"

" _Harry and I_-" corrected Hermione at once. Ron rolled his eyes.

" _Harry and I,"_ he corrected himself impatiently, knowing it was best not to argue. " Were just discussing the worlds biggest git." Hermione raised her eyes and Ron sighed. "take a wild guess smarty pants."

Hermione glanced at Ron and saw his Potions paper in his hands.

" Don't tell me your still complaining about that essay Ron, you could have finished it by now!"

Snape started to shake. He knew perfectly well that students disliked him, but actually hearing a conversation was more than he was bargaining for.

He waved his wand and the scene dissolved in front of him, replaced with the chamber he

had caught Ron and Hermione inside the night before. And sure enough-

The door burst open, Ron and Hermione kissing each other so wildly that they each had trouble breathing. Ron waved his wand, locking and silencing the door. Snape watched for a few more minutes, before Ron had started unbuttoning her robes, hearing them fell to her feet with a soft "flump".

Snape waved his wand through several more of these, some more graphic than others, and then he came to one which he himself remembered.

They were inside his classroom. And- yes- there we was entering through the door, silencing the students short moment of chatter without speaking a word. Snape smiled to himself at the control he had over his class.

" Malfoy, collect everyone's homework," he instructed, turning his back to the class and started rummaging through his desk for something.

Present day Snape followed closely behind Malfoy as his past self looked through his desk for something. Draco was handing the top Slytherin papers back to their owners while exchanging a joke here or there. And then he stopped at Hermione.

"Here you are mudblood," Malfoy laughed, dropping Hermione's 'E' into her cauldron, which was warming up. The paper burned quickly and Severus smelled the familiar scent of ash.

Hermione shook with rage but held her ground, making sure she didn't say or do anything that would make Malfoy retaliate. Draco seemed pissed that she wasn't getting her revenge, and he bent closer to her. Snape held his breath and leaned in.

" Cat got your tongue Granger?" he hissed, grabbing her chest tightly. Tears welled up inside Hermione's eyes and he left go, making her gasp in pain.

Snape realized at once that this wasn't the first time Malfoy has harassed Hermione by the way she dealt with it. He started to shake with rage, remembering the times that he had been picked on at school.

" Watch yourself Granger," Malfoy drawled, and stalked away.

A sudden pang of guilt filled Severus. He shouldn't be here. What if he saw something else...?

The scene had once again changed. He was inside a bedroom (Hermione's of course) and in the distance heard someone coming up stairs, and voices in the distance yelling very loud. Moments later, Hermione herself has entered her room, tears filling her eyes. And visible just through them.. what looked like a red hand print across one cheek. She couldn't have been more than 4 or 5 years old.

" I hate him!" she cried out to no one, flinging herself upon her stuffed animal infested bed.

Severus was forced to remember the painful memories of when his mother and father were fighting and how he always got his share. With one last look to the crying girl, he closed his eyes and felt himself floating upwards toward the ceiling. A moment later, he had appeared.

For a horrible second he pictured Hermione waiting for him, arms crossed, tears in her eyes. But, thankfully, when he opened his eyes, she was still sleeping peacefully on the bed. He sighed and felt somewhat disgusted with himself. And angry. He shouldn't have done that. _but he had to know..._

'_Why though?' _asked a voice inside his head._ ' you don't care for the girl...'_

He shook himself, unconvincingly, and set off to work.


	7. Cone the Crowd

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A/N: No more lyrics? Oh boy (

Still not mine

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Rolling up his sleeves, he approached her sleeping figure, eyes lingering on her face. She actually quiet pretty, he found himself thinking. Maybe it was because she looked so peaceful- unlike her always-tense form. His stomach turned over when he realized how he didn't make it any easier for her. He had never known how much pain she endured.. quiet like himself...

_' Stop this,'_ he commanded himself._ 'She's a student! Do what Dumbledore requested and have her on her way!'_

He stood over her, before raising his wand. Her head snapped up, hair falling slowly behind her. Another flick of his wand and it was tied into a low ponytail, out of his way. He lowered the wand, her head falling in suit.

If Hermione were conscience, she would have awoken by her professor's cold hands as they held her face; thumbs behind her ears and fingers across her pale forehead. She did shiver, but slept on.

Snape closed his eyes as his thumbs turned over and over in circles. And, starting as quickly as a foot race, Hermione's past swirled through his fingers and into his mind. Blurs of her childhood, elementary school, the summers at the Burrow...

He concentrated hard, pretending he was Hermione. _' I've just heard the Weasley's are doomed...'_

White light stung his closed eyes as he watched the flashbacks of the summer whiz past.

" _Donwols,_" he found himself muttering, without his wand. The images held at a standstill, playing as slowly as they happened. He lingered at each one before erasing the words coming from everyone's mouths. She wouldn't remember what they had said.

Two and a half-hours past before he removed everything she heard that was dangerously related to the Weasley's fate. Another hour of removing her own thoughts about the matters, and he'd be done.

_"Oblivate," _he would mutter each time he came across a thought. At times, he had to add thoughts in to replace what she had thought. He knew that if he left too much out it could easily be remembered.

The truth was that Dumbledore was afraid of what Harry and Ron seemed capable of - playing the hero. Dumbledore, of course, did not put it that way. But Severus saw it clearly. The Headmaster didn't want Potter overreacting to a situation already being monitored. And Hermione had known enough to send Harry away at once... They couldn't risk it.

He realized that he had just put this thought back into Hermione's mind, and erased it with anger. What was he doing? He was falling apart at the seams. Quickly, but carefully, he continued with his work, mind blank, erasing a thought every minute or so.

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It took longer than he had planned, but 4 hours later, Snape was releasing Hermione's forehead with a sigh. It would have been finished early, had he not have to stop 3/4's of the way because she had a sudden nightmare about the Dark lord.

Yes, he could tell that she was frightened to the max about her friends and family. He had to be careful about how many he took away from being worried about the Weasley's. He only wished he could _do something _to lighten the load of worries Hermione found herself carrying.

Her eyelids fluttered, as she turned to one side. It seemed as if she'd awaken. He put a hand on her shoulder and tried to shake her lightly.

" Miss. Granger," he said, forcing hatred into his voice. "Miss. Granger, can you hear me?"

It took another 4 minutes of asking, and finally her eyelids fluttered once more, then slowly opened. Her eyes were extremely red, a side effect of everything she'd seen.

" I have finished," he informed her, trying his best to sound annoyed.

She nodded and without warning, fell back into sleep. He was surprised, but didn't try to wake her again. Pity swept over him. He looked at her face for another moment, before sweeping over to his desk to grade papers. It might have been late (3:47 AM) but he wasn't the least bit tired. He magicked himself a cup of warm tea, and began to grade the first paper he'd seen- Hermione's.

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Ron woke with a start the next morning, surprised to see Harry waking him - in all places- the couch in the common room.

"Way to come up last night," said Harry, somewhat annoyed.

And then it all came back to him. Hermione- Snape- the fire and snow...

" What happened anyway?"

Ron let out an angry moan.

" I think I fell asleep before she came 'round. OY! Ginny!" he looked around the common room, surprised to see it empty besides 3 first years that were looking up at the notice board. "Where is everybody?" he asked blankly.

Harry laughed. "First day of the holidays, mate. Everyone is either gone or at Hogesemde doing last minute shopping. C'mon, McGonagall is taking the remaining students."

The first years looked over at them hopefully.

" Er- third years and above.." said Harry uncomfortably. He watched as their faces fell, and then look away.

" Where's M'ione?" Ron asked rubbing his eyes, staring at the empty fireplace.

Harry shrugged his shoulders. "Probably the library or still sleeping. Look- she'll catch up to us later. You need to buy her presents right? You know she'll never leave you alone if you're trying to buy something for her."

Ron sat up and yawned, nodding. He scratched his side and said, "I'll be along in a minute.. gonna shower really quick.." he got up, and headed towards the boys showers; Harry taking his seat and grabbing parchment to write Hagrid.

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Hermione awoke with a start. Her heart was beating unusually fast. Where was she? She raked her mind for a reasonable explanation for being asleep in a prepared bed in her potions classroom. And then she hit something. It felt like a barrier. She vaguely remembered Snape taking her here last night for an explanation at his change of heart... and... and...

Her heart sank. With great effort, she managed to pull out him erasing her memory. "Dumbledore's orders." And that was all that there was.

She stood up and felt extremely lightheaded. She looked around for her Potions master, but he was nowhere in sight. She made her way to the door, and walked into the hall, trying as hard as she could to remember anything that was of importance, and there was nothing.

Mind buzzing, hands clenched, she made her way to the library before remembering it was he first day of the holidays. She should be with Ron and Harry. She stuck her hands in her pockets and started toward the Gryffindor common room.

Halfway there, she noticed her hand was brushed up against a piece of parchment inside her pockets. Frowning, she took her hand out, holding the parchment just when-

"Hermione! Where've you been?"

It was Ron, wet headed, Harry. They were both wearing their traveling cloaks.

" Er.. library. Catching up a bit..you know.." She didn't know why she was lying to them.

" Look, I'm sorry about last night Herm.. I should have remembered to silence and lock the door...it was all my fault...I wasn't thinking..."

" Er- let's talk about it later," she said. In truth, she couldn't take thinking all of this at once. She was becoming frustrated, her mind was defiantly not strong this morning.

" Uh- alright. Hey- what's that?"

Hermione cursed herself under her breath as she made to hide the parchment from his view.

" Just homework," she said shortly, stuffing it rather quickly into her pocket. Harry and Ron exchanged that "look" they always got.

"You feeling all right M'ione?" asked Harry taking a step closer.

Hermione tried not to look into his bright green eyes as she lied.

" Yeah.. just a bit tired.. long night..." she seemed to want to get off the topic rather desperately. " Where are you guys going anyway? " she asked suddenly, pointing out their cloaks.

" McGonagalls treating the left over students to a day in Hogsmede," Harry seemed unsure on whether or not to invite her. He looked at Ron who was watching Hermione with an awkward eye. There was diffidently something wrong with her.

" Oh." she said, sounding a little bit sad. She had a feeling that they didn't want her there.

" You coming?" asked Ron walking toward her to put his arm around her. She shivered and backed away suddenly, eyes looking like they were about to tear.

" Um, maybe I'll meet up with you guys later. Lots to do..." and she walked past them in the similar way that she did 7 years ago when she had heard them talking about her in the courtyard.

" What's up with her?" asked Ron, sounding somewhat angry.

"Dunno..." said Harry. Suddenly his mood changed. " Well, at least you can buy her present now. "

" Yeah" Ron grumbled. " I suppose your right."


	8. We're Getting There

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_A/N: Nope, still don't own it. Maybe I'll go double check…_

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" 'Reckon she'll like this?" asked Ron uncertainly, handing Harry a thick book titled _The Path_. Harry opened the novel and read the inside cover.

" '_Elizabeth Thompson shares her life with us through this amazing novel; her journey from muggle to witch, and the hardships that followed...' _Come off it Ron, she wouldn't want this rubbish."

" Well then you choose," he muttered. " I have no idea what girls like.."

"And I do? Just buy her something girly... didn't you give her perfume a few years ago or something?"

" My mum bought it," said Ron, ears turning bright red. "No clue.." he mumbled. Harry laughed.

" Listen, just get her a book and a bracelet or necklace or something. 'S the best I can do for you mate."

" Where's Gin when you need her? " Ron mumbled.

" Behind you."

Ron jumped, and Harry laughed as he watched Ginny pull off the disguise of a hunch-backed witch. He had to admit, Fred and George trained her well.

" How long have you been spying on us?" asked Ron angrily, putting the book back on the shelves.

" Just got here. Such a shame. Snow slowed me down. Anyway- what do you need?"

" Hermione's Christmas present."

" Well I haven't got it," she said, turning to look at what Ron put on the shelves.

" No- you moron, I need you to help me pick it out."

Ginny read the cover to the book and flipped through a few pages.

" She'd like this.." said Ginny placing the book in Ron's hands. Ron looked at Harry who shrugged.

" How was I to know?"

"Right.. well, that can be her birthday present. What do you reckon for Christmas?" he was starting to look worried. Harry wondered if he had enough money to buy both.

Ginny walked around the shop before coming back to him carrying a package of beautiful moving bookmarks and a handsome new quill with some shiny pink stone near the point.

" That should be enough," she said and started to walk off. Ron called her back and she looked annoyed.

" Ginny- I need... I mean- can I borrow some money? I'll pay you back and all..." Ginny tutted as she reached into her robes and pulled out a few silver coins.

"You're gonna owe me more than just money big bro." she said and walked off.

"You're a lifesaver!" he called after her.

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Hermione sat down in the great hall, sipping pumpkin juice while reading the morning paper. Last night alone, 4 wizards, 2 witches, 3 children, and 12 muggles faced the wrath of Lord Voldemort. None had escaped. Her fork slipped while grabbing some eggs as she read the name "Avery."

She laid the paper against a milk jug and read with interest... He was a confirmed death eater,( though she already knew this) who was found dead in his bed last night with his wife... Dark Mark was found hovering over his house...thought of failed mission... address to send flowers too...

She felt guilty while sighing and feeling somewhat happy about the death of this man and his wife. But it meant that Voldemort was loosing control his ranks, a small sign ( but a sign none-the-less) that their side was up.

Hermione folded up her paper and threw it in her bag. She finished what was left of her eggs and juice, and left the Great Hall feeling somewhat more relaxed.

"Snarglefur" she said, reaching the fat lady.

The common room was completely empty. She made her way up to her dorms. Also empty. She didn't know how long the silence could keep her there. Maybe she ought to join Harry and Ron after all...

She entered the bathroom getting ready to shower. Pulling off her robes, she watched as something fluttered to the ground. The parchment from that morning. She picked it up, and very slowly, opened it.

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" That'll be 1 galleon and 3 sickles."

Ron handed the silver and gold to the witch at the front counter, and grabbed his bag. A minute later, Harry and Ron were outside in the snow. Loose flakes from the tops of trees blew over them as a wind whipped around their heels.

"Where do you reckon we head now?"

"How bout a butterbeer? My treat," Harry offered. Ron's ears were slowly turning red, and Harry added quickly" part of your Christmas present, eh?"

Ron laughed, ears returning to their freckled selves. They made their way to the Three Broomsticks, where Ron held the door open for Harry, who made an act of being mildly surprised and faking a blush. Ron laughed, and was grateful that Harry was making him happy after worrying about Hermione.

" Think she's gonna join us?" Ron asked as they hung their things by the door. He didn't need to refer to whom he was talking about.

" Nah, she's probably off studying again."

They made their way over to the counter, Harry getting the change out of his pockets to pay for the drinks. Madame Rosemerta appeared a moment later, a broad smile on her face.

" Ah! My favorite customers! What'll it be? Two butterbeers?"

Ron's ears turned pink, and he smiled quickly. Harry tried not to laugh and nodded, handing over the money.

" Don't be silly dear! It's nearly Christmas! Just don't tell anyone.." she whispered " you'll put me out of business."

Harry smiled, and, to Ron's surprise, tossed the money into a jar labeled "Tips" just as she disappeared.

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Hermione recognized the hand writing as her own, and vaguely remembered writing it, but couldn't remember why. She frowned at the paper, and read it 5 times quickly.

**Break it off with Ron, but stay friends. Keep him in close view. **

Her head pounded as she tried to remember why she would write such a thing. _Keep him in close view... _did that mean he was in trouble?

She put a hand to her head and released it quickly. She was burning up. Dropping the note, she jumped into the shower and turned the warm set water to cold. She let the water rinse over her, shivering after a few minutes. The coldness drove all her thoughts from her mind, and not until she exited with a towel wrapped around herself did she see the note again.

She would not have played such a cruel joke on herself. What was the point if she already knew the outcome? Still, the note was starting to look like a warning. There was a good reason for her writing it, she knew it. And she knew what she had to do.

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Ron and Harry made their way up to the castle hours later, cold and tired, hands red from dragging shopping bags behind them.

" She better like it after all that trouble," Ron said, rubbing his sore hands stopping at the fat Lady.

"Yeah...Snarglefur."

They walked through to find Hermione studying by the fire. There were large bags under her eyes, and Harry remembered his first look at Sirius with a pang. He really missed him.

He looked at Hermione, who was looking very sad and very confused. He could tell she wanted to talk to Ron alone by her glances from him to Ron.

" Hey M'ione. Ron, I'm going to take these upstairs..." he took hold of Ron's bags.

Ron sat down next to Hermione very slowly. He was noticing that her brown eyes weren't looking at him.. and one was starting to tear...


	9. Aerials

A/N: not mine. Still no service. If you want to see what I look like go to is a waterfall,

_We're one in the river,_

_And one again after the fall._

_-Aerials, in the sky,_

_When you lose small mind,_

_You free your life._

_Aerials, so up high,_

_When you free your eyes,_

_Eternal prize. _

_-System_

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Harry laid Ron's bags down against his bed before flopping onto his own. Even now, door closed ad pillow over his head, he could hear the screaming match below him.

"You want to **_WHAT_**?" It was Ron. Harry had a funny feeling that he wasn't going to take it well.

"Oh Ron! I'm so sorry, it's just that I have so much on my plate at the moment-"

"Is there someone else? _DAMN IT _HERMIONE LOOK AT ME! _Is there someone else?_"

Ron sounded angrier than Harry had ever heard him before. For a moment he considered joining them downstairs so no one would get hurt, but he wanted to respect their privacy.

"No Ron, I can swear that there isn't! Look, I still want to be best friends. Seven years of friendship Ron, we've been through everything-"

" OH- WELL I'M SORRY THAT _EVERYTHING_ WASN'T ENOUGH FOR YOU!"

" Ron, stop! You know how much I love you! Please just understand- of all people I thought you'd understand the most-"

" Yeah- yeah I understand just fine," there was a nasty pause. Harry stood up, getting ready to go join them, when he heard Hermione beginning to sob, and stopped. Ron began to speak again.

" Yeah. I understand that I didn't have enough for you. We'll, that's what I get. Yeah. That's what I get for being for being a Weasley. See you later Hermione."

Harry heard Ron running up the stairs and quickly and Hermione crying, " Ron-" Wanting to respect Ron's privacy, he quickly arranged himself so it looked like he was unpacking his stuff. Ron came in moments later, slamming the door shut and locking it.

" Temper temper," said Harry looking up, pretending that he didn't hear a thing. Ron didn't respond. He walked from the door to his bed (kicking his trunk on the way) and sat down shaking.

" What's up?" said Harry.

Ron covered his face in his hands. Harry knew he wasn't crying, and that he wouldn't allow himself to. It was a moment before Ron looked up and said, " She dumped me."

Before Harry could say anything Ron jumped up and kicked his trunk.

" She fucking dumped me! _ME_! Can you friggin believe it?" he started cursing heavily and pacing. " If anything I thought I'd get rid of her first! _That little bitch_!"

" Ron?" said Harry weakly. " Come on, mate .. let's not talk about it.."

Ron didn't hear him.

" This is un-friggin- believable! I swear... do you know what she hit me with? The whole ' its not you its me' act! 'We just need some time Ron, I have a lot to deal with at the moment..' _BULLSHIT_! We're _all _taking our N.E.W.T.S! What makes it different for _her_?"

" Come on Ron, you know Hermione, grades are everything to her-"

" Yeah, who would have thought she'd actually give a damn about her boyfriend!"

Harry really didn't want to take sides, but Hermione's sudden change in heart made it hard. Ron was right; N.E.W.T.S were no different to her then it was them.

" Look Ron, you can't let her see how much it effects you. Just act like you don't care. You gotta act like everything all right, just smile like everything ok. C'mon I bet you'll have a new girl by next week... Keeper for a undefeated Quidditch Team... what else can you ask for here?"

It seemed enough to calm Ron down. His breathing reduced greatly, and he took a step towards his bed, sitting down.

He laughed and took a look towards his shopping bags.

" What friggin day.."

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After a half-hour of talking over Hermione calmly and carefully, Ron got in the shower. Harry took this as the perfect opportunity to talk to Hermione. Walking down the stairs, he saw a small, huddled figure by the fire, clearly crying.

" M'ione?" he asked, walking over to her. The tip of her head buried itself inside her robes.

" Go away."

" Hermione listen-"

" GO AWAY," she said, not yelling, but demanding it of him.

"Listen to me Hermione, I'm just as much of his friend as I am yours! You can't just sit here crying by yourself this near to Christmas. Talk to me."

Hermione shivered and pulled her frizzy head out of her robes. She sniffed once or twice before wiping her eyes on her sleeve.

What was she thinking, not wanting Harry's help and comfort? After all they had been through she would have been insulted if he didn't come straight to her after this ordeal. She looked into his green eyes, which were looking extremely concerned. She threw herself into his arms, wanting him to take all this unnecessary pain. He was temporarily shocked at her sudden change of heart, but patted her back all the same.

" Come on, it's only Harry," he said in a baby voice. She giggled.

" If Ron saw you talking to me..."

" -He'd join in. Hermione, I had a chat with Ron. He doesn't really care. He just got caught up in the heat of the moment-"

Hermione felt hurt with what Harry said. 'He doesn't really care..' It's not like she wanted to dump him- she just wanted what was best- and she had left a note from herself saying it was best. She needed him to care... even if he didn't show it.

" Harry, it's alright. I understand what you're trying to do. But I sort of need... well.. a _girl_ to talk to."

" 'Course I understand. Let's see here ... where's Ginny?"

They looked around the deserted common room.

" She's not upstairs," said Hermione frowning. "I was there awhile ago, and no one came in since I left... did you see her in Hogesmede?"

" Yeah, maybe she's still there..." he glanced out the window, but doubted it. The sun was setting; reds and oranges coloring the sky.

" She's probably at dinner or something."

Harry nodded and just as he did, his stomach growled angrily. All he had today was a Butterbeer. He looked at Hermione. She giggled.

" I'm hungry too. Join me in dinner, won't you?" she looked at him as if begging. She smiled.

" Of course. Let's wait for Ron, he should be getting outta the shower any minute."

" Umm, maybe I'll just meet you guys down there," she glanced at the boys stairway.

"Whatever you want," he said, not wanting to push her. She walked off, tying her hair back as she left and fixing her robes.

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" No way! I'm not eating dinner with her."

" Come on Ron, remember what I said? Just act like it doesn't bother you. She's hurting too."

" She's the one who made this mess. I'm not going," he said flatly, towel drying his hair.

10 minutes later, Harry and Ron made their way down to dinner, Ron mumbling under his breath.

As they approached the doorway to the Great hall, Harry held him back.

"You don't care, remember?"

Ron mumbled something and they entered.

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The Hall was set, just as it was in their third year during Christmas. Except there was no one there except Hermione, Madame Pince, Professors Flitwick, McGonagall, Sprout and a fourth year Ravenclaw with a short bull cut.

" We were afraid you weren't going to join us!" squeaked their tiny Professor, drawing up two chairs.

"Where's Dumbledore?" asked Harry, noticing his Professors' chair unfilled.

"The Headmaster is gone for the holidays Potter," said McGonagall at once. " he'll be back before the New Year."

" Oh.."

Hermione could see Harry and Ron felt slightly nervous. She knew they were thinking the same thing a she was. Did this mean their side was taking a bad hit, and needed the help of a busy Headmaster?

McGonagall must have noticed the worried expressions on their faces as they sat down.

"Everything is alright," she assured them shortly, and handed Harry a plate of steak.

" My, my, look at that snow falling!" said Flitwick, looking out the windows, clearly wanting them to get their uneasy minds off of Dumbledores absence.

"Suppose to snow all night," said Sprout, joining in. " going to make it a bit difficult for those darn Gillberworbms.. hard enough to take care of as it is..."

They continued to chat about the weather and about the homework they had assigned, before McGonagall turned to Ron.

" Speaking of over-due papers, Weasley, when you get back to the common room, have your sister see me in my office. I need to discuss the absence of her Tea Cup report."

" Alright," he said without looking up from his pudding. Harry and Hermione glanced at each other. They had completely forgotten until now.

" Um, Ginny isn't in the Gryffindor tower," said Hermione slowly. McGonagall put down her fork and looked at Hermione as though she just realized she was there.

"She isn't?"

" No, we -ER- thought she was with you."

" Has anyone seen Miss. Weasley?" McGonagall interrupted the rest of the table. Hermione noticed an unusual look of concern in her eyes.

"Probably in the library or something," said Ron, swallowing his pudding thickly.

" Certainly not!" said Madame Pince at once . " you don't think I'd leave my books unprotected, do you?"

All eyes were on Professor McGonagall now. She rose from the table with a short "excuse me" and left the hall. Harry and Hermione exchanged a worried look while Ron kept eating.


End file.
